Crime and Sweets Musical Comedy in 2 Acts Full-length (in progress)
Book and lyrics by Diane DeCillis
Music by Tracy Kash
Nerdy, sugar-addicted food chemist Mondo Bondidi is haunted by a Greek chorus of his own emotions—The Bonbons (Pleasure, Temptation, Gluttony, Guilt, and Denial)—as he struggles to complete his late father Aldo’s formula to curb sugar cravings (“The Formula, The Formula!”). Recently fired from his professorship due to excessive absences from sugar induced blackouts, Mondo seizes a fresh start: a lecture opportunity at Detroit’s new Food Arts Museum, determined to finally regain control over his addiction.
At the museum’s Italian-American gala fundraiser, Mondo encounters Salina Toccolina, an ambitious art student whose sultry performance (“Salina’s Song”) is meant to seduce Sugar Daddy, the museum’s most valued benefactor. Behind his flamboyant persona and designer shoe obsession, Sugar Daddy (aka Eduardo Sudado) secretly heads the world’s largest sugar cartel.
When the grand dessert table is revealed (“Where Is the Dessert Table?”), Mondo’s willpower shatters. Gorging on zeppole, he collapses—only to be rescued by his best friend and secret crush, Adrianna Balducci, a commitment-phobic restaurateur who is both Mondo’s greatest support and greatest frustration.
After a harsh wake-up call from his doctor (“The Doctor Said No Sugar!”), Mondo publicly vows to complete his father’s formula. Alarmed, Sugar Daddy recruits Salina to sabotage Mondo’s research, luring her with promises of wealth and artistic success (“I’m Your Sugar Daddy”). The plan? Seduce Mondo, steal his notes, and ensure his formula never reaches the World Health Alliance.
But as Salina draws Mondo into her orbit (“Pheromones”), something unexpected happens—Mondo changes. Under her influence, he transforms into a more confident, self-assured version of himself. Meanwhile, Adrianna watches, torn between concern for her friend and her own unspoken feelings (“Commitment Phobia”). When she tells him she’s found another date for the Museum lecture, Mondo—believing Adrianna will never love him (“Hope’s Balloon”)—fully commits to Salina.
Yet Salina’s plan unravels when she fails to get Mondo to relapse (“Do You Donut Love Me?”). Instead, she tempts him to Vegas, where he loses his father’s grant money (“Vegas Baby”). As their scheme escalates, Salina develops a dangerous addiction of her own—to sugar—and to Mondo himself (“He’s Kind of Sweet, He’s Kind of Nice”). When Sugar Daddy catches on, he orders her to drug Mondo and finish the job. But for the first time, Salina hesitates. Mondo’s kindness and belief in her have cracked the armor she’s spent years building.
Despite her defiance (“I Won’t Do It!”), Sugar Daddy threatens to expose her, forcing her compliance. Meanwhile, a suspicious Adrianna investigates (“Adrianna’s Gone P.I.”), leading to a heated confrontation with Salina (“Rap Battle”). When Mondo refuses to listen—severing their friendship—Adrianna, devastated but undeterred, uncovers Sugar Daddy’s true identity (“Don’t Mess With the Sugar Cartel”).
She races to warn Mondo—only to find him drugged and unconscious. As police arrest a remorseful Salina and Sugar Daddy escapes to Miami, Adrianna finally confesses her love (“If I Had One More Chance”). In a moment of irony, Mondo awakens, having heard everything while trapped in his stupor. With newfound clarity, he and Adrianna finally embrace (“How to Say I Love You in Italian”), realizing that the sweetest thing in life isn’t sugar—it’s love.